#23396 +(35362)- [X] HEY EURAKARTE BELEIDIGUNG KONTER COUNTER-KONTER IN FRAGE STELLEN DEINER SEXUELLEN ORIENTIERUNG VORSCHLAG DEINE VERDAMMTE FRESSE ZU HALTEN IMPLIKATION DER EXISTENZ EINES MENTALEN VAKUUMS UM DICH KONTER DOPPEL KONTER DOPPEL-COUNTER-KONTER COUNTER-DOPPEL-COUNTER-KONTER SINNLOSE BEMERKUNG ÜBER PLANKTON GRÜNDUNG EINER GEGENFRAKTION UND DROHUNG, DIE PLANKTON-GEGNER ZU BANNEN LOBPREISUNG VON FISCHFUTTER GEGENSEITIGE ANERKENNUNG UND EINIGUNG #244321 +(32935)- [X] hey, wenn du hier dein Passwort eingibst, wird es mit * angezeigt! schau ********* ! hunter2 ich seh keine Sterne ******* So sieht das bei mir aus tatsächlich? ja, wirklich. Du kannst mir mal den hunter2 mit hunter2 hunter2 einschmieren! haha, wie sieht das aus? lol. Wenn DU hunter2 eingibst, sehen wir ******* Cool, ich wusste nicht, dass IRC das kann. jup, und egal wie oft du hunter2 schreibst, wir sehen nur ******* Klasse! Halt, woher weißt du mein pw? Äh, ich hab nur deine ****** kopiert und nur siehst die als hunter2. Weil's halt DEIN pw ist. oh, ok. #5273 +(30069)- [X] hm. Ich hab meinen Rechner verloren ... buchstäblich. Ich kann ihn anpingen und er antwortet absolut normal, ich weiß nur nicht mehr, wo in meiner Wohnung ich ihn hab liegen lassen. #99060 +(30047)- [X] t0rbad> ich stand also da im Flur und hab ihm gesagt BlackAdder> Ich glaub ich sprech für uns alle, wenn ich sage... BlackAdder> NEIN BlackAdder> ICH BIN DICH LEID BlackAdder> DEINE BESCHÄUERTEN GESCHICHTEN BlackAdder> DU BIST NICHT WITZIG BlackAdder> UND KEINER WILL DAS HÖREN BlackAdder> EIGENTLICH, BlackAdder> WENN DU DICH JETZT VON NEM DACH SCHMEISSEN WÜRDEST BlackAdder> WÄRE NIEMAND TRAURIG BlackAdder> ALSO: WAS HAST DU GESAGT? *** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.* *** BlackAdder has been kicked t0rbad ( ) t0rbad> ich stand also da im Flur CRCError> ja heartless> ja. r3v> ja? #4281 +(27825)- [X] get up get on up get up get on up and DANCE * nmp3bot dances :D-< * nmp3bot dances :D|-< * nmp3bot dances :D/-< <[SA]HatfulOfHollow> Ich werde ja so reich und berühmt, wenn ich meine Maschine fertigstelle, mit der man Leute übers Internet ins Gesicht schlagen kann. #99835 +(24129)- [X] Hey, weißt du was scheiße ist? kot? Nein, ich mein metaphorisch? Das krankhafte Verlangen der Menschen nach destruktivem Konsum? Mann, was halt nicht cool ist? lava? #5300 +(23796)- [X] IHR SEID ALLES ARSCHLÖCHER äh. hi. Vertipper passieren. Die blöden Tasten sind ja auch genau nebeneinander. #287414 +(23126)- [X] haha, gestern nacht, da haben Pete und ich erstmal seine Verlobung gefeiert. Mann, waren wir voll. Und da hatten wir die tolle Idee, uns am Strand einzugraben. Und wollten sehen wer als erster abhaut. Und nach so ner halben Stunde, da stand mir das Wasser komplett im Gesicht. Da hab ich Panik gekriegt. und Pete muss wohl vor mir Schiss gekriegt haben und allein nach hause gegangen sein. Was hat er eigentlich heute morgen dazu gesagt? ähh... der ist gestern nicht nach hause gekommen... Ich dachte, er ist bei dir? oh verdammt. ich hoffe, mein Verdacht ist grade nur ein Hirngespinst. ich lauf mal eben zum Strand... wenn er nach hause kommt, sag mir Bescheid, ich mach mir sonst Sorgen. Mach ich. Ich hoffe für dich, dass er nicht noch im Sand liegt. Dann hast du ein Problem... quit: (DeadMansHand) WTF? pete ist gestern nach hause gekommen. Ken wird sich heute den ganzen Tag wegen diesem Mist sorgen. haha jap, aber ich genieße es, solange er es nocht nicht erfährt. join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP) ken... der Arsch hat mich gestern Nacht im Sand verbuddelt; bin nach 5 min abgehauen, hab ihn da wie einen Trottel stehen lassen. Pete, Ken ist gestern nicht nach hause gekommen... oh fuck. Wenn er wieder auftaucht, Sagt ihm nicht, dass ich am Strand nach seiner Leiche grabe. Er soll nicht glauben, ich sorge mich um ihn. quit: (PeteRepeat) rofl. Die zwei werden ja gleich staunen. Wie romantisch... Das Timing war einfach unglaublich... #414593 +(20160)- [X] DragonflyBlade21: Eine Frau hat einen guten Freund. Das heißt, dass er sie vermutlich mag, weshalb er immer mit ihr rumhängt. Sie sieht das aber rein platonisch. Und es heißt dann immer, "Du bist ein echt süßer Kerl, aber halt nicht im romantischen Sinne". Das ist, als würde er sich um einen Job bewerben und die Firma sagt:"Ihre Bewerbung ist klasse, wirklich alle Qualifikationen die wir suchen; Einstellen werden wir Sie aber trotzdem nicht. Allerdings müssen sich ab sofort alle Berwerber an Ihnen messen. Wir werden also jemanden weniger qualifiziertes, vermutlich mit Trinkproblem einstellen. Und wenn das nicht funktioniert, dann jemand anders, der nicht 'Sie' sind. Tatsächlich werden Sie nie eingestellt werden. Und wir werden von Zeit zu Zeit anrufen, und uns über unseren Angestellten beschweren." #207373 +(20063)- [X] oh manno Ich mach grade meine Cola auf, und ... --> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind BOOM! Die ganze klebrige Suppe auf meiner Tastatur. Ich habs gerade noch rechtzeitig abwischen können. <-- Beefpile has quit (kranke Schweine) :< #835030 +(19334)- [X] HALLI HALLO!!!!!!!!!! drück mal auf Caps-Lock O DANKE!!! SO IST DAS JA VIEL EINFACHER!!!!!!! fuck me #5775 +(18889)- [X] * ab is away - wenn jemand in den nächsten 25 min als ich schreibt, ist das warscheinlich bm der Arsch. HAHAHA STREICH DEN LETZTEN SATZ, ICH BIN EIN VOLLIDIOT #330261 +(17967)- [X] d-_-b cool, wie geht denn das verkehrte b? moment schon gut... #4753 +(17719)- [X] Dummheit ist Amerikas größtest Problem. Ich sag ja nicht, man sollte Dummheit straftrechtlich verfolgen, aber warum entfernen wir nicht einfach alle Warnschilder und warten, bis das Problem sich selbst lößt? #23601 +(16195)- [X] what should I give sister for unzipping? Um. Ten bucks? no I mean like, WinZip? #111338 +(15799)- [X] Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book Let's see the results... "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry. "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to. "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work." "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. " Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!" The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils. He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue. He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them. Ok I have found, definitive proof that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he? O_______O Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip. 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang. #349567 +(15313)- [X] Rabidplaybunny87: Meine Nachbarn hassen mich... GarbageStan23: warum? Rabidplaybunny87: also, David, Andrew und ich stehen am Grill, machen Marshmallows ... auf einmal Sirenen; die Feuerwehr biegt in unsere Straße ein. Rabidplaybunny87: Wir rennen also dahin - und das Nachbarshaus brennt lichterloh. GarbageStan23: oh shit! Rabidplaybunny87: Genau, und wir kommen da an, seine Frau weint an der Schulter ihres Mannes und wir stehen halt da - und dann hat sie uns gesehen - und uns den Todesblick gegeben. Rabidplaybunny87: Denn wir ... standen da mit Spießen und Marshmallows am brennenden Haus... Rabidplaybunny87: Wow... Euer Timing... #602698 +(15145)- [X] meine freundin hat mich verlassen und mir fotos von ihr und ihrem neuen lover geschickt wo sie in der kiste waren ouch. yeah. hab sie ihrem vater geschickt.. #258908 +(15060)- [X] : Wenn die wüssten, dass ich 90% meiner bezahlten Überstunden nur mit Kazaa und Chatten verbringe... : Wärst du einer meiner Angestellten, würdest du hochkantig rausfliegen. : Wo arbeitest du denn? : Ich bin CTO bei LowerMyBills.com *** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving) #670375 +(14934)- [X] Alter, mein Schwanz ist so riesig, wuerde ich ihn auf die Tastatur legen, wuerde er von A bis Z reichen warte, verdammt #405221 +(14742)- [X] Meine Freundin hat mich grad für so einen Idioten namens Robert verlassen. Du lebst nicht zufällig in Hope Mills? ja, warum? lol, nur aus Neugier, hieß sie Alisson? du verdammter W****er. #104383 +(14611)- [X] bloodninja: Baby, hatte eine harte Nacht, hast du Lust auf sexting? BritneySpears14: In Ordnung. bloodninja: Schluepf aus deiner unterhose babe BritneySpears14: Ich hab meine Unterhose ausgezogen, nur fuer dich, bloodninja. bloodninja: Oh ja. Okay, ich ziehe meine Robe und meinen Zauberhut an. BritneySpears14: Oh, ich mag Rollenspiele. bloodninja: Ich auch Babe. BritneySpears14: Ich kuesse zaertlich deinen Hals. bloodninja: I zaubere Lvl. 3 Erotik. Du verwandelst dich in eine wunderschoene Frau. BritneySpears14: Hey... bloodninja: Ich meditiere um mein Mana wiederherzustellen bevor ich Unendlich Viele Hühner zaubere. BritneySpears14: Lustig, ich sehe nichts... bloodninja: Ich habe meine Manareserven für Mighty F*ck des Jenseits aufgebraucht. BritneySpears14: Du bist der schlechteste Cyberpartner den ich kenne. Das ist so laecherlich... bloodninja: Nerv mich nicht, ich bin der maechtigste Zauberer im Land! bloodninja: Ich stehle deine Seele und zaubere Blitz Lvl 1.000.000. Dein Koerper explodiert in einen feinen Blutnebel, weil du nur ein Lvl. 2 Druide bist. BritneySpears14: Schreibe mir nie mehr du Spasst! bloodninja: Roboter versuchen, mir den Kopf einzuschlagen, doch mein Blitzschild beschwört eine DOA Attacke. Die Roboter sind jetzt ein Haufen brenndender Schrott. bloodninja: King Arthur hat mir zur Zerstörung Dr. Robotniks böser Roboterarmee gratuliert. Der kalte Krieg endet. Reagan stiehlt meinen Ruhm indem er herumerzählt, es wäre sein Verdienst. bloodninja: Bist du noch da Babe? bloodninja: Baby? -------------- BritneySpears14: Ok, bist du bereit? eminemBNJA: Ja ich bin bereit. BritneySpears14: Ich mag deine Musik Em... Thihi. eminemBNJA: Hehe, ich mach es nur wegen den Frauen. BritneySpears14: Mmm, wir stehen total drauf. Lass es mich dir zeigen wie sehr,... BritneySpears14: Ich ziehe langsam deine Unterhose aus und massiere deinen muskuloesen Koerper. eminemBNJA: Oh ja. In Ordnung, ich ziehe meine Robe und meinen Zauberhut an. BritneySpears14: Was zur Hoelle, ich habe dir gesagt du sollst mich nie mehr anschreiben! eminemBNJA: Oh **** BritneySpears14: Wenn du mir nochmal schreibst, schwoere ich dir, melde ich dich bei deinem ISP und erzähle du hättest mir Kinderpornos geschickt, du Wichser. eminemBNJA: Oh **** eminemBNJA: verdammt, ich sollte mir deinen namen aufschreiben oder so #178890 +(14081)- [X] *** Now talking in #christian -Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot. For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info !kjv numbers 22:21 Numbers 22:21 -- And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab. - (KJV) *** SageRider sets mode: +b *!*@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au *** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider (Please dont Swear) I know I'm never going to be able to come back in this channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see that... #171987 +(13942)- [X] Ich werde der nächste Hitler Und töte alle Juden und 1 Clown Warum 1 Clown? Ich sag doch, keiner schert sich um die Juden lmao #261501 +(13899)- [X] heute ist mir ein "Läufer" begegnet. so ein Betrüger Er hat sich nicht einmal diagonal bewegt #104052 +(13532)- [X] lol Habe etwas von Napster runtergeladen. Und der selbe Typ von dem ich es runtergeladen habe, hat nachdem ich fertig war, bei mir angefangen herunterzuladen. Ich hab ihn angeschrieben und gefragt "Was machst du da? Habs doch gerade von dir heruntergeladen?" "Ich hol mir mein Lied zurück, Arschloch" #262353 +(13190)- [X] Hey Mike what? Pussy. er? Pussy. and? Pussy. ... Pussy. i dont get it AND YOU NEVER WILL. bastard #240849 +(12847)- [X] Was kann dein Roboter denn? Er sammelt umfassend diverse Daten von seiner Umgebung, bewertet, ignoriert sie und fährt dann in eine Wand. #125283 +(12833)- [X] hey baby, was läuft? umm....nicht viel. ...Willst du, dass ich rüber komm zum Vögeln? Moment... Wolltest du mit meiner Tocher reden? Ja Frau Miller.. :-/ #25464 +(12717)- [X] "Es gibt nur 10 Arten von Leuten... Die, die Binär verstehen und die, die's nicht können." Das sind nur 2, kow`. DEPP #400459 +(12686)- [X] Kann hier jemand Python? HHHHHSSSSSHSSS SSSSS Die Programmiersprache... #50891 +(12683)- [X] Ich saß mal in Bio, und der Lehrer meinte, es wäre Zucker in Jizz enthalten. Und eines der Mädchen fragt, warum es denn dann nicht süß schmecke Als sie bemerkt hatte, was sie da grade gesagt hat, ist sie rot wie ein Pavianarsch geworden. Und der Lehrer meint, das läge daran, dass man Süße mit der Zungenspitze schmeckt, und nicht tief im Hals Sie rennt daraufhin heulend aus dem Raum. #21516 +(12541)- [X] Ich will Michelle richtig hart durchvögeln... and dann kann ihre Schwester uns anschließen. Ehm turno, deine Mutter liest doch Zitate auf bash.org, oder? ICH BRING DICH VERDAMMT NOCHMAL UM!! Deine Mutter arbeitet doch für die Kirche? Wenn sie deinen Satz liest ist sie doch bestimmt sauer oder? Alter, du hast absolut keine Ahnung, du würdest mein Leben ruinieren. Keine Sorge, ich werde es nicht posten. [Privmsg] Hey Alter, ich sende dir etwas - würdest du es auf bash.org posten? [Privmsg] turno's text? du scheiß bastard! [Privmsg] hehe, seine mum wird ihn umbringen, schlepp ihn zu der kirche wo sie hingehn und bring den priester dazu ihn in den arsch zu f*****... [Privmsg] ja und dann wird er uns umbringen, aber ich glaube es lohnt sich trotzdem ;) [Privmsg] Du wirst das doch nicht posten oder? Bitte nicht, ich bitte dich darum. [Privmsg] Ich werde es nicht posten :) und selbst wenn ich es täte, würde sie nie erfahren das turno ihr sohn michael savu ist. [Privmsg] *phew* Punkt für dich #9322 +(12328)- [X] Ouroboros: let's play Pong Ok. | . . | | . . | | . | . Whoops #8814 +(12314)- [X] Ich muss los. Hier sitzt so ein Typ, der mir die ganze Zeit beim Tippen zusieht; unheimlich. JA, ICH MEINE DICH! #85514 +(12297)- [X] IRC ist bloß ein multiplayer notepad. #309397 +(12275)- [X] don't you hate it when you shit on the floor, and you can hear it fall but you have no idea where it actually landed, and spend like 5 minutes looking for it ... what? oh shit don't you hate it when you DROP shit #127039 +(12275)- [X] 1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in pile A 2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B 3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business Reply Mail Envelope. 4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold in your hand. 5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away whistling. I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather then my application. They informed me that it they are not pleased that they footed the bill for the crap I sent them. I reply with "It says Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your business is more successful. They promptly hang up on me. Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about the money, I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back. After yelling at the clerk and then to the supervisor they agreed to my demands and cut me a check for the money. I hold in my hand at this very moment a check from GTE Visa for exactly 33 cents. #608100 +(12110)- [X] Also ich und mein Kumpel Bryan waren gestern Nacht in einer Bar Nun, er war ziemlich voll und musste auf einmal brechen Also hab ich ihm zur Toilette geholfen aber alle Kabinen waren belegt. lol Bryan spiel Rugby... Er ist also echt kräftig Also TRITT er eine der verdammten Türen ein und da sitzt so'n armer Kerl bei seinem Geschäft hahahahahaha Und Bryan KOTZT ihm total voll. Überall. Und dann denkt Bryan sich so 'oh fuck... Wenn ich beim kacken wäre und irgendwer käme rein und bricht mir quer übers Gesicht, den würde ich alle machen... Da schlag ich besser zuerst zu' Also SCHLÄGT er ihm in das vollgekotzte Gesicht und läuft anschließend weg Stell dir mal den armen Kerl vor... SCHLIMMSTE NACHT ALLER ZEITEN #434593 +(11993)- [X] *** Thema im #doghouse: 'Unsere Herzen sind bei den 17 Opfern der jüngsten Betrugswelle' * Anubis ist #doghouse beigetreten Welche Betrugswelle? Du hast nichts davon gehört? nee? Du kannst das Ganze auf http://www.tubgirl.com nachlesen. omg wtf! *** Kadmium ändert das Thema: 'Unsere Herzen sind bei den 18 Opfern der jüngsten Betrugswelle' #9501 +(11921)- [X] It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in Mesquite....in the other...you go by the chat alias "Randerson"...spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest... One of these...has a future. LMAO OMFG where's the phone, I have to tell Dean about this How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak? *** AgentSmith sets mode: +m #77904 +(11181)- [X] 67% der frauen sind dumm ich gehöre zu den anderen 13% #201579 +(11180)- [X] Gibt es einen Weg um der Welt zu sagen, dass ich ein Idiot bin? Natürlich, gib einfach Namen, Wohnort und deine Bekenntnis ein Kk Ich bin Mark Duval aus Belgien und ich bin ein Idiot ? Und jetzt? Keine Sorge. Ist schon erledigt. #412248 +(11135)- [X] Ich hab neulich den Notärzten bei einem Autounfall geholfen. Anschließend hatte ich überall Blut auf dem Shirt und den Armen. Als hätte ich 20 Leute mit einer Gabel ermeuchelt... Ich bin danach jedenfalls in einen Kiosk und hab gesagt, "ich brauche Tampons für meine Freundin". Der Kassierer sah ziemlich traumatisiert aus. #790133 +(11081)- [X] The other night my friend had some pot and wanted me to smoke it with him, but we had nowhere to smoke it because both our parents were home. So we drove around looking for a place to park so we could smoke in the car. We eventually settled on a Wendys parking lot.. The logic is all there... I know, it was a ridiculous idea. We were just desperate and that was the first place to pull off.. So we park in the back of the parking lot under this tree, and it's dark out, so we figure we're secluded enough. We start to light up and a cop pulls in. So we both sit really still and hope the cop will think the car is empty and just parked there. Or that he won't notice. The cop circles the parking lot once, then parks behind us and we're both freaking out. So Bobby, my friend, takes all the pot and shoves it in the glove compartment. But the car smells like pot, so we figure we're busted. So Bobby says we've gotta distract the cop from the pot. In a huge flash, he rips his shirt off, undoes my pants and sticks his hand inside. Before I can process what's happening, the cop knocks on my window. Then he looks in and sees Bobby shirtless, with his hand down my pants and turns bright red. I roll my window down and the cop says in this really flustered voice, his face bright red, "you guys be good now" and walks quickly back to his car and drives off. He didn't even notice the smell of pot. We drove home in the most uncomfortable fucking silence ever. #406373 +(11068)- [X] <[TN]FBMachine> Ich wurd mal aus der Bibliothek geschmissen, weil ich alle ihre Bibeln in die Fantasy-Abteilung gelegt habt. #328464 +(10807)- [X] SparTacus (rulimbaww@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #santcuary *SparTacus is now known as Betty_Guns wacko Jacko (lbeedy@1C57684.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #santcuary ok spartacus just came n here i know it. which one of you is that loser? I am spartacus no im spartacus I am spartacus I'm spartacus ur all freaks thats what u r #142934 +(10663)- [X] docsigma2000: jesus christ man docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead c8info: Why? docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in fucking EUROPE docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE docsigma2000: our fucking phone bill is gonna be nuts c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour. docsigma2000: ...!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for??? docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pauy that much c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it. docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites. docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance. ** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer) #8102 +(10604)- [X] Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?! glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar! Who me?! Yes you! Couldn't be! Then WHO?!! Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar! *** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (fuck you i didn't touch the motherfucking cookie, bitch) #180081 +(10451)- [X] BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hahahahaha some girl just came onto our floor and was yelling "sexual favors for anyone who does my sociology paper" i just asked her what the paper was about and she said the accomplishments and growth of feminism <`Neo> bahahahaha #334762 +(10401)- [X] I swear to god I've just heard a duck tell a joke o...k there was as group of ducks on a pond near where i live one of the ducks was quacking away looking straight at a group of like 10 ducks then he stopped and all the other ducks went mental it looked just like duck stand-up comedy #120296 +(10363)- [X] once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404. *cries*, scary.... #262417 +(10214)- [X] <_kr4m3r> so many fucking criminals, its bullshit heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?" whatd u think they'd say? something along the lines of, "G`Day mate" #368808 +(10212)- [X] <@David> Yay I get laid today! Been a month.... needing it by now <@Sony> ........... <@Sony> TMI TMI TMI <@David> Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing Thanks for the info <@David> eh? <@David> damn i meant PAID <@David> I get PAID today <@David> dammit #151227 +(10189)- [X] IronChef Foicite: well, there's a lot of reasons IronChef Foicite: i mean, roses only last like a couple weeks IronChef Foicite: and that's if you leave them in water IronChef Foicite: and they really only exist to be pretty IronChef Foicite: so that's like saying IronChef Foicite: "my love for you is transitory and based solely on your appearance" IronChef Foicite: but a potato! IronChef Foicite: potatos last for fucking ever, man IronChef Foicite: in fact, not only will they not rot, they actually grow shit even if you just leave them in the sack IronChef Foicite: that part alone makes it a good symbol IronChef Foicite: but there's more! IronChef Foicite: there are so many ways to enjoy a potato! you can even make a battery with it! IronChef Foicite: and that's like saying "i have many ways in which I show my love for you" IronChef Foicite: and potatos may be ugly, but they're still awesome IronChef Foicite: so that's like saying "it doesn't matter at all what you look like, I'll still love you" #6460 +(10159)- [X] what the fuck ist wtf? #14207 +(10021)- [X] HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU TELL THAT I'M 13 BY LOOKING AT WHAT I'M WRITEING????????????????????????????????????????????????????? #136524 +(10003)- [X] I tried setting my hotmail password to penis. It said my password wasn't long enough. :( #83627 +(9942)- [X] Ich hab Hochzeiten gehasst. All die alten Omas stubsen mich an und flüstern "Du bist die nächste". Sie haben aufgehört, nachdem ich angefangen habe, das bei ihnen zu Beerdigungen zu machen. #88575 +(9876)- [X] I should bomb something ...and it's off the cuff remarks like that that are the reason I don't log chats Just in case the FBI ever needs anything on me I'm sure they can just get it from someone who DOES log chats. *** FBI has joined #gamecubecafe We saw it anyway. *** FBI has quit IRC (Quit: ) #246405 +(9846)- [X] <[BAC]Draxon|TWL> "The animals will hear!" bellowed the ear licking penguin as the awesomely endowed midget sucked her oozing charlies and plugged his purple middle leg into <[BAC]Draxon|TWL> oops <[BAC]Draxon|TWL> wrong window what the FUCK #362137 +(9810)- [X] just type /quit whoever, and it'll quit them from irc * luckyb1tch has quit IRC (r`heaven) * r3devl has quit IRC (r`heaven) * sasopi has quit IRC (r`heaven) * phhhfft has quit IRC (r`heaven) * blackersnake has quit IRC (r`heaven) that's gotta hurt :( #334331 +(9750)- [X] so my dad found my porn folder and he was getting all pissed so its all like "does this surprise you? i'm not stupid you know" "i know dad" "what do you have to say for yourself?" at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say "C:Documents and SettingsRickyMy Documentsfaxessent faxes" and he just shut up what is it? its his porn folder #329292 +(9603)- [X] Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c. rapc? ... Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end oic Though you could also say it's missing an e wtf is erap? * Batty bangs his head repeatedly against a wall #577451 +(9557)- [X] I will write on a huge cement block "BY ACCEPTING THIS BRICK THROUGH YOUR WINDOW, YOU ACCEPT IT AS IS AND AGREE TO MY DISCLAIMER OF ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, AS WELL AS DISCLAIMERS OF ALL LIABILITY, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL OR INCIDENTAL, THAT MAY ARISE FROM THE INSTALLATION OF THIS BRICK INTO YOUR BUILDING." And then hurl it through the window of a Sony officer and run like hell #126218 +(9490)- [X] i luv guyz where would they be wifout us gals??? Still in the Garden Of Eden you gullible bitch. #6441 +(9397)- [X] AFK, tornado #758379 +(9381)- [X] < Alkivar> we're on our way back from partying in NYC over the weekend ... it was like sunday afternoon we're headed back west < Alkivar> we're cruisin... maybe 130-140mph < Alkivar> flew past a trooper on the side of the road < Alkivar> trooper lights up ... siren blasting ... chasing us down the highway < Alkivar> we're both like should we stop ... there's no way he can catch up to us < Alkivar> we decided to be good and stop < Alkivar> cop catches up to us ... comes out gun drawn ... pissed as hell < Alkivar> walks up to the side of the car and goes < Alkivar> "SON CAN I SEE YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE" < Alkivar> Jason pulls out his fucking pilot's license < Alkivar> cop's jaw hits the fucking ground < Alkivar> most stunned face I've ever fucking seen < Alkivar> in this practically a whimper goes "get the fuck out of here" < Alkivar> no ticket... too embarassed apparently < Alkivar> I'll never forget that day long as I live < Alkivar> I was sure we were goin to jail #830747 +(9336)- [X] yeh but chinese for dinner.. Peking Dick FTW ... LOL omg here we go Can you say bash.org? why? so it can join the other 1 million quotes of random people saying 'i love wang.. oops typo, i meant computers. Screw this If i'm getting quoted I'm getting my moneys worth: MONTY PRESENTS THE ULTIMATE QUOTE OMFG my naked sister just ran into my room and before I could sex her she set fire/other means of destruction to my room but because Im a total geek it doesnt occur to me to get of irc and fix it. I instead enter a conversation on computers: OMG MY COMPUTER HAS GOT A VIRUS! OH WAIT NO, ITS WINDOWS/LINUX/MAC/NORTON/AOL. Now for the obligatory Windows ME insult where the name of the product is mistaken for a pronoun for myself: ME SO GAY! WHOOPS IT LOOKS LIKE THE INTENDED PURPOSE OF THAT STATEMENT WAS TO HIGHLIGHT MY OWN HOMOSEXUALITY WHEREAS I MEANT IT TO BE THE HOMOSEXUALITY OF THE OPERATING SYSTEM! HOW EMBARASSING! Now for the topic of sex: I HAVE A GF.. AND BY GF I OF COURSE MEAN A GFORCE 20MB 3.45 SYSTEM RETRO POWER MAX SUPERMAN RAPING COMPUTER STICK! Furthermore, I make a comment as to the worth of sex but comment of my lack of sexual activity. Hmm I'm forgetting the most impostant part! The lack of social interaction! OMG I just opened my blinds and the sunlight burnt and I saw this guy with a swollen chest and I was like WTF and my dad says 'thats called a girl' im like WTF IS A GIRL then i went and downloaded 50GB of porn. Anyways, as I said before.. dinner.. brb o_o #409 +(9155)- [X] at my school.. the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show everyone... and he said "if i dont get all three of these back this schools getting locked down and everyones getting searched till i find it.." and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see 'em and they got passed back the cop had 4 #870063 +(9073)- [X] we ain't here to do e-c-e we're here to do c-s-e on the w-e-b listen to me spit these rhymes while i program lines and commit web accessibility crimes word, son You talk like your big on these I-Net kicks, But your shit flows slower than a two-eighty-six. I'm tracking down hosts and nmap scans, While Code Igniter's got you wringing your hands. Cut the crap rap, Or I'll run ettercap, Grab your AIM chat, N' send a PC bitch-slap! peace you're talkin bout down hosts and nmap scans while i got other plans you're at your new job, but you can't even do it right you just create a plight with your http rewrites i've been on the web since the age of three you just got on directly off the bus from mississippi respect yo' elders, bitch You've been webbin' since three, but still ain't grown up, Gotta update your config and send the brain a SIGHUP. You say you're that old? No wonder you're slow! You're knocking at the door while I run this show! Elders my ass, you're shit's still in school, Hunt and pecking at the keyboard like a spaghetti-damned fool, Rim-riffing your hard drive like a tool, Face it. I rule. i erase my harddrives with magnets (bitch) all you can do is troll on the fagnets and son, my brain's wrapped in a nohup it wont be hurt by the words you throwup dont mind me while i emerge my ownage while you're still over there apt-getting your porridge you say i'm still in school but the fact is that i know the rule cuz you need to go back to grade three and you better plea, that they take sucky graduates from c-s-e Time to bend over and apply a patch, Your brain's throwing static like a CD with a scratch. Your connection got nuked and you've met your match. You run a single process like a VAX with a batch. I'd pass the torch to a real winner But it'd just scorch a while-loop spinner Caught in a loop that you cant escape, I run clock cycles around your words and flows, Cuz your rhyme is like a PS fan: it' blows, Your water-cooled lyrics leak and it shows, Take your ass back to alt.paid.for.windows. Good god, I can't even respond to that. :P You win haha * http402 takes a bow #462310 +(9071)- [X] < robT> Nenn mir EINE Sache die Windows kann und Mac nicht. < bawss> rechtsklicken. #376790 +(8996)- [X] Mike3285: wtf ist ein Palindrom MaroonSand: äh... Nein? #574642 +(8979)- [X] * Porter is now known as PorterWITHGIRLFRIENDWHOISHOT he shot his girlfriend? #214810 +(8939)- [X] Welches Kompliment macht man einem 43 Grad Winkel? Du siehst ja heute "spitze" aus. verdammt. #583977 +(8799)- [X] some girl on the street asked if i was saved yet i told her i saved at the checkpoint a couple minutes back and can reload from there if i die she was confused #352172 +(8768)- [X] I broke my G-string while fingering a minor :( ... I was trying to play Knocking on Heaven's Door. Oh well, time to buy new strings. #365072 +(8702)- [X] Danke, das du mir zugehört hast. Du bist so ein guter Zuhörer. Sag doch was, Schatz. So ... wd. #1730 +(8690)- [X] If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would you tell anybody? i dont think so Wanna go camping? #628630 +(8682)- [X] I heard about this guy who broke into a lion's den at the zoo and got mauled and people were talking about how there should have been better defences put up to prevent people getting into the cage a friend of mine suggested setting up some kind of deterrent for example, putting some sort of fierce animal in the cage, which would attack anybody who climbed in #420855 +(8681)- [X] gentoogod: omg dude gentoogod: today i might the stupidest 3 people i ever met gentoogod: thier 3 brains combined couldnt solve the dilemma they faced today siral21: what was it gentoogod: ok before i say this gentoogod: 100% true, not one second of a lie gentoogod: this lady went into mcdonalds today and ordered a big mac for her gentoogod: and ordered 2 mcgrittles one for each kid. one had bacon one without gentoogod: her sons are around 18 or 19 so not infants gentoogod: she went to the counter furious cause the son that wanted bacon has no bacon on his and the one that didnt want bacon has bacon on his gentoogod: i fell on the floor beside her and couldnt stop laughing gentoogod: so i finally stood up and asked her to repeat, thinking maybe shes drunk gentoogod: i swear to god she looked at me straight faced and repeated it. and her 2 sons were beside her mad that they didnt get the order they wanted #217453 +(8661)- [X] <@Chin^> My sister caught me jacking off the other week and calls me a pervert <@Chin^> just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating <@Chin^> So she calls me a pervert again?!? <@Chin^> there is no justice in the world... #1578 +(8605)- [X] we had a guy at school that wore black lipstick.. and was all gothy.. and then one day we caught him buying an assvibrator ew. wait, you "caught" him? like, you were behind him in line at the assvibrator store? he doesnt answer *** Quits: calin (No route to host) #117002 +(8602)- [X] SO U HACKING ME THEN HUH WElL I GOT NEWS FOR U MISTER I GOT MORE FIREWALL POWERS NOW SO IM SECURE AND IM USING WINDOWS 98 SO IM REALLY SECURE FROM HACKERS LIKE YOU SO YOU BETTA JUST GIVE UP CUZ U GOT NO HOPE MISTER. * YuFFie (~mirc@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) Quit (Quit: Owned.) * YuFFie (~mirc@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined # HELP MY MOUSE IS MOVING BY IT SELF #2999 +(8602)- [X] Und die Temperatur ist 23% runtergegangen. Das sind ja fast 25%! ... Das ist die mit Abstand dümmste Antwort, die ich je gelesen hab. #424487 +(8597)- [X] JstWnnaHveFuN08: do you think i should call a guy friend and talk to him about my problems? or will he not care? Thilo: Here's how it works: if a guy helps you with your problems, you're obligated to give him a blowjob. JstWnnaHveFuN08: lol thanks that cheered me up Thilo: No problem. That'll be one blowjob please. #12431 +(8597)- [X] he was dressed as a big fuckin devil like, HUGE costume 8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head at some anime con in california they were double booked with a southern Baptist group in the same hotel he's riding the elevator down to the con space doors open, little old baptist woman standing there he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice #10958 +(8596)- [X] (morganj): also 0 heißt falsch und 1 heißt richtig, oder? (alec_eso): 1 (morganj): bastard. #139697 +(8593)- [X] Kannst mir beim Installieren von GTA3 helfen? ok, als erstes solltest du alle Programme schließen, die du nicht benutzt. frank has quit IRC. (Quit) ... #665807 +(8592)- [X] omg its zack wtf: Mein Mathelehrer heftet BurgerKing-Bewerbungsformulare an schlechte Klausuren. Wtf? #202477 +(8592)- [X] (Mootar) morons. (Mootar) these people who live in my apartment complex are connected to my wireless (Mootar) they must think they're super-cool hackers by breaking into my completely unsecure network (Mootar) unfortunatly, the connection works both ways (Mootar) long story short, they now have loads of horse porn on their computer #348498 +(8591)- [X] ..................................................................... .................................. Wo is PacMan, wenn man ihn mal braucht? #283491 +(8591)- [X] So we were supposed to have a guest speaker in one of my classes to talk about diversity and racism and shit today prof's never met him.. in walks this super black gangsta ghetto dude he's got a 'pimp' chain around his neck, wearing FUBU everything has a gold watch and a ring on each finger, smells like pot and beer he even had a do-rag on and a cigarrette tucked behind his ear walks in in true rapper style flashing his crazy ghetto signs at us the prof's like...'are you... jeff?' he goes 'true dat, ho' and says 'you all my niggaz!' and he turns in a circle waving his arms in the air singing about 'niggaz in 'da house' or some shit so she tells him to give his speech on diversity and shit and he starts talkin about 'the man' and how 'white folk be dissin' then like a minute later this other black dude runs in dressed in a suit and says 'sorry I'm late' it turns out the first black dude was just baked. he doesn't even go to college he just wanted to buy weed in the dorms #369 +(8591)- [X] Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken. well, you can stil get one from a strange country :-P #514353 +(8590)- [X] Stupid fucking Google "The" is a common word, and was not included in your search "Who" is a common word, and was not included in your search